This weekend I was at a Christmas party with a bunch of old friends. There was lots of catching up on the ups and downs of the previous year. At one point, I was talking with a friend who had been having some health struggles. I suggested Wim Hof (as I’m prone to do), and she said she was good with what she was doing right now.
Something in me stilled a little at her words, although it took me a few days to figure out why.
I’m always looking to add to what I’m doing to get better. Whether it’s a new gratitude practice, a new kind of breathwork, a meditation I haven’t tried yet… My internal reaction when I hear about something new is to feel like I’m not doing enough. I always wonder if this new thing is the piece that I’ve been missing.
It’s an endless process of adding and adding and adding. More meditations, breathing techniques, brain retraining, somatic practices, sauna, red light therapy, gratitude practice, cold exposure, mindfulness exercises, yoga, Tai Chi, stretching, strengthening…
I know you can see where this is going. From the outside it’s probably obvious, but from the inside there’s just this desperation to be doing enough.
A desperation that I know isn’t serving me.
My friend’s suggestion that she wasn’t going to try something new right now, gave me the space to stop and wonder.
What if it’s already enough? When is it too much? How do I give myself permission to stop?
I don’t have an easy answer to any of those questions, but even the questions bring me some peace, so I know I must be on the right track.
Right now, I am practising gently telling myself, “Too much of a good thing, is still too much. I’m doing enough.”
My primary focus for the next six months will be the Gupta brain retraining program that I’m currently doing. I can’t say I’m going to throw out everything else I do, but instead, I’m going to try to approach each day as a listening and learning experience of my own journey.
Instead of following all of my different daily routines (rather a large pile of daily shoulds), when I feel depleted I’m going to ask myself what would bring me ease or joy in that moment.
That’s what it’s really all about, isn’t it? Finding joy and ease while being in this moment.
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